Charles Spencer on whether he told sister Princess Diana about boarding school abuse (exclusive)

The 9th Earl Spencer faces his childhood trauma at Maidwell Hall in his new memoir, A Very Private School

Courtesy of Lord Charles Spencer; Amanda Edwards/WireImage

Charles Spencer and Princess Diana as children; Charles Spencer in 2015

Charles Spencer never told his sister, Princess Diana, about the bullying he experienced at boarding school.

Historian and younger brother of the late Princess of Wales recalls his harrowing experiences at Maidwell Hall in his new memoir, A very private schoolexclusively from PEOPLE in this issue. Although Spencer was extremely close to Diana as a child, he tells PEOPLE that neither she nor his sisters knew what he was suffering from starting at age 8.

“I don’t remember us ever really talking about what we were going through. She went to a very gentle place, I think,” the 9th Earl Spencer says of Diana’s boarding school years. “We’d go back to each other for the school holidays and I don’t remember her ever talking about it.”

When Spencer, 59, finally told his older sisters, Sarah and Jane, 18 months ago, “they were stunned and terrified.”

©Earl Spencer

Charles Spencer with his sister Diana (seated) and nanny Mary Clarke on their way to Maidwell Hall in 1972″ src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/KPl8BoLrO56tHQnqANb8wg–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTkyMA–/https://media.zenfs.com/en/people_218/9eed10060b6ac9afafdcb8bacf700571″/>

©Earl Spencer

Charles Spencer with his sister Diana (seated) and nanny Mary Clarke on their way to Maidwell Hall in 1972.

Related: Charles Spencer Reveals Childhood Trauma in Touching Story of His Boarding School Time (Exclusive)

In a moving memoir released Tuesday, Spencer confronts the childhood trauma he suffered during five years at an elite institution in the English countryside where young students were vulnerable to attacks from adults.

This book was difficult to write as Spencer, who reveals for the first time that he was a victim of physical, verbal and sexual abuse at school, is mired in his painful past.

“I always felt like I had dealt with that part of my life and put it to bed,” says the father of seven, who has been married to his wife, Karen, since 2011. “But talking to my classmates and hearing their experiences was so liberating. I was so moved by the horror of what they were sharing. And that was the hardest part.”

©Earl Spencer

Charles Spencer in his Maidwell "glad rags" suit in 1972″ src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/8T2yu.Iify2cXhYYt_jLww–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTkyMA–/https://media.zenfs.com/en/people_218/c2fc4295815eac4e728035ebd20d5c90″/>

©Earl Spencer

Charles Spencer in his Maidwell Sunday suit in 1972.

Related: Charles Spencer Shares Rare Childhood Photo With Sister Princess Diana And Their Mom

In his memoirs, Spencer admits that at some of the worst moments of his childhood he thought about self-harm.

“I really considered self-harm with my father’s shotgun very regularly at the end of term,” he says. “No kid should be thinking about that at the end of the summer, at the end of the holidays. I would really think hard about it to stop myself from having to go back to that place.”

Ian Greenland; Simon and Schuster

Charles Spencer in 2021 at his family home, Althorp (left). Right: His new memoir, A Very Private School

Today, he fears that when he shares his story, some will perceive his honesty as a plea for mercy from people born into extremely wealthy and privileged families.

“My biggest fear is that people might think, ‘Poor little rich boys. What do they have to complain about?’ It’s not about wealth. It’s about the vulnerability of kids in every social class. My biggest hope is that this will actually help people,” Spencer tells PEOPLE.

If you suspect child abuse, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child or 1-800-422-4453 or visit www.childhelp.org. All calls are free and confidential. The hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in over 170 languages.

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