Do you want to go to jail?

Characters: Tramp coming off I-95, store owner Bart, employees John and Carl, customer David, Orangeburg County Animal Control officer, Orangeburg County Sheriff’s Deputy.

One morning more than 30 years ago, a drifter, apparently intoxicated, walked off the highway where the Purina Feed store was located at the time. He then lay down on his bag of belongings in the middle of the store’s driveway.

Bart was the first to see him and told the bum that he couldn’t just lie there – that he should “move on.” The bum said he wouldn’t. So Bart told him that if he didn’t go away, he’d call the sheriff, because he couldn’t let him block the driveway.

“Call him,” Tramp replied, so Bart did. Since Bart was working in front of the building, Tramp asked several times when someone would come get him, but Bart ignored him.

Carl, a worker, drove up in an old pickup truck and, not knowing why the man was lying in the middle of the driveway, honked and kept going until he saw the guy wasn’t going to move. Then he stopped and honked again. The tramp looked up and yelled at him. Carl said, “Hey, I have to get here.” The tramp didn’t answer.

Carl told him, “Well, I’ll try to do it without hitting you, but the power steering doesn’t work very well in this truck.” Carl jerked the steering wheel and drove very close to the man who was still lying there, shouting at him.

Shortly afterward, David, a customer, pulled up and Tramp started yelling at him. David went up to Tramp and said, “Listen, mate, I don’t know who you are or what you want. I just came here to buy some feed and I don’t want anyone yelling at me like that.” Bart apologized to David and told him that the police had been called and should be here any minute.

Immediately afterwards Bart, along with John, who was also guarding Tramp, saw him jump off his bag of stuff and run as fast as he could around the other side of the feed store. When they reached the corner of the building, he was nowhere to be seen. There were several large items for sale that the feed store had displayed along that side of the building.

As Bart and John continued walking around the area, John grabbed Bart by the arm and whispered, “I see him…he’s in that calf cage.” The cage was shaped like a very large metal barrel, cut in half and placed on the ground with the open side down, so the back/bottom was closed.

Before Bart could say anything, John grabbed a 2×4 and hit the back of the cage, causing it to make an extremely loud noise! ​​Tramp came out the other side on all fours.

He began yelling again and asking when they would call the police. Bart told him again that they were waiting for a deputy to arrive—that he just needed him to leave the property and stop harassing customers.

At that moment, Bart saw a pickup truck with a county emblem on the door. He waved to the truck driver, and an animal control officer pulled into the parking lot. Bart asked, “Can you take this man to the Orangeburg jail? I’ve had enough of his behavior on my property.”

The Animal Control worker said, “I can’t take him. I only take dogs.”

The tramp jumped up from the ground, ran to the truck and said, “Take me to prison… that’s where I want to go.”

Just then, a deputy arrived. As he pulled into the parking lot, Tramp ran to his car, blocked the driver’s door and shouted into the windshield. “Take me to jail, take me to jail,” he shouted. The deputy had to ask the man to move over so he could get out of the car.

The deputy asked Tramp for his ID, and Tramp showed his driver’s license. His story: He was from Boston and hitchhiking to Miami. He had $1,300 when he left his house. Someone had robbed him. Now he had no money. The deputy was speaking into a microphone activated under his chin on his shoulder to see if there were any outstanding warrants. When Tramp saw this, he ran to the deputy’s shoulder and started yelling, “Hello, hello!” into the microphone.

While checking his documents, the officer asked Trump himself if he had any outstanding arrest warrants.

“What do you mean? What do you want to know?” asked the Tramp.

“Are there any warrants for your arrest? Have you committed any crimes?”

“No, but if you want me to steal something so you can put me in jail, I’ll do it.”

The deputy explained to Tramp that he was definitely going to jail. Tramp looked at the crowd standing around, pointed at the officer, and told them, “Look, there are SOME nice people in the world. He’s going to take me to jail.”

The deputy asked him to put his hands behind his back so he could cuff him. Before he could do so, Tramp ran up to Bart with his right hand extended forward to shake Bart’s hand. “Thank you, sir. I didn’t think you actually called the police, but you’re a nice guy. I just need a place to rest a little.” And they left.

I decided to share this after reading in The T&D that a man convicted of arson had served 909 days in Orangeburg Prison. The newspaper article also mentioned that during those 909 days, he jumped on a fellow inmate’s ribs, breaking some of them. When he appeared before a judge in June of this year, he was sentenced to three years in prison, which was suspended for two years of probation due to time already served.

This information was included in an article reporting that after the arsonist/rib-buster was released, he was returned to prison because he was accused of using a machete to kill a Summerville man. I don’t think anyone ASKED to be taken to prison today, right?