My 10-year-old daughter won’t wear shorts until I teach her how to shave

“My daughter turned 10 a few weeks ago and got her first period in December when she was nine,” one mom began in a recent post asking for advice.

“She won’t wear shorts or tops anymore, and when I pressed her on why, she said it was because she had hairy armpits and legs.

“So I’m wondering when would be a good time to talk to her about shaving, and will I need to teach her how to do it?”

“Nobody showed me how to do it”

The mother provided additional context by saying that her mother died when she was six, so “no one talked to me about it or showed me how to do it.”

“I started when I was about 13/14 because my older sister was making fun of me. I asked her if people made fun of her because of her hair and she said no, that she just didn’t want to wear clothes that would show it.”

The mother then shared the text with readers and asked them for advice on what she should do in this situation.

“Please teach her to shave!”

Most of them encouraged the mother to teach her daughter how to shave, otherwise the daughter might hurt herself behind her back or not confide in her about her body problems in the future.

“I think this really needs to be tailored to the child. Your daughter started puberty early and is uncomfortable with her body because of the things that come with it. This may be the right time to allow it, and yes, you should teach her that,” one said.

Another wrote: “For other children who start puberty later or have light hair, it may be appropriate to wait longer. There is no right age. Another suggestion is to talk about body positivity, understand what we like and what we think we should like, and that beauty standards are false narratives.”

Another user replied: “I’m 34 and I distinctly remember wanting to shave when I was 11. But my mom wouldn’t let me because “I wasn’t old enough” and “Your hair will grow back thicker.” Luckily, we know that’s a myth. My hair is very dark, so it was very noticeable. And yes, I was bullied so much about it that I only wore pants.

“So please teach her to shave! If you don’t, she (maybe) find a way to do it behind your back.”

Another added their own perspective, writing, “Honestly, I didn’t feel the need to shave when I first asked, but all my friends were starting and I felt left out. My mom made such a big deal out of it that when I did need to, I didn’t ask, I just took her razor and figured it out myself. And I never asked her about my body again.”

“I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t teach her now rather than in a year or two,” another user noted.

Finally, one user stated that “it’s best to start when you’re bothered by body hair.”